Lockdown just made the roads safer

Finally, some good news: fewer people have died on Australian roads this Easter. Talk about blessings in disguise…

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This just in, from the department of unintended consequences: There were just six deaths on Australian roads over Easter, which is down from 19 during Easter 2019. A massive reduction of more than two-thirds.

We’re all trying to get through lockdown. #inthistogether

So, the Grim Reaper managed to chalk up 13 fewer proud sons and daughters of ANZACs this Easter - mainly as a consequence of enforced zombie apocalypse lockdown. Although this is probably leaving him struggling for things to do during lockdown.

I’m really not sure how Death feels about having the road-toll deckchairs rearranged in this way. He’s probably still feeling as if 2020 is a particularly good year.

The zombie-virus has claimed 61 Australians, sadly. As of today. Each death obviously tragic and somewhat premature, but if there is some balancing of the books to be done here, there’s 13 in the ‘win’ column as well.

Plus another five for March, which wasn’t that strict, in the lockdown sweepstakes. According to the Feds (specifically the Department of Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Communications, which monitors these things) five fewer Australians lost their lives on the road in March, 2020 - compared with the previous five-year average for March.

The feds actually produce a crash comic every month - officially called the Road Deaths Australia Monthly Bulletin, if you’re interested. Google can find it for you.

That’s a total of 18 fewer deaths - roughly one-third of the number officially lost to the Zombie Apocalypse. Now: If you are that dipshit who’s going to start arguing that I’m making some observation that our response to this crisis is disproportionate…

... that’s not what I’m saying at all. (So please STFU)

History’s going to determine which nations resisted zombiefication better than others (but I’d have to say Shitsville and Sheep-shagistan are looking pretty good thus far). I get that our seemingly effective countermeasures are doing a good job keeping the decimal point where it is on the grimmest of statistics - and two jumps to the right would be fairly bleak, which is what lockdown is all about preventing.

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If you know what’s good for you, don’t go there.

Right-wing & a prayer

These right-wing imbeciles on FNN, the Fictional Nutbag News network (which some people still call Sky News), using the statistics, which prove the lockdown is working, as some sort of purported evidence that it’s an over-reaction: that’s killing the economy. Disgraceful, and disconnected from reality. 

I’m all for free speech, but there should be a law against collusion between stupidity and right-wing rat-fuckery. Just saying. Like, stop fucking rats. How hard is it?

In fact, road death is directly linked to two things: economic prosperity and how much we drive. And they’re directly linked. We’re driving a lot less now, and times are tough for many. This means discretionary travel has hit the express elevator and punched itself into the basement. So road death is down.

Incidentally, every road death means about 20 serious injuries, of which about two are going to be permanent disabilities. So that’s 350-ish people who weren’t seriously injured and, call it 35 people who are not today coming to grips with permanent disability as a result of road trauma over Easter.

I’m not saying the zombie apocalypse is a good thing. Clearly it’s not. But I’ll take any good news where I can get it at the moment - and the road trauma story for 2020 is going to be a good one.

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