New Nissan Pathfinder: Why I wouldn't bother buying one
A tired, old ‘brand new’ Pathfinder is due in Australia this winter, promising to be less of a lemon than the current one, dating back to 2013. I strongly suggest buying something else…
In the latest Nissan news, Pathfinder ambassador Joan Rivers (when contacted for comment, via ouija board) said: “I particularly liked how they’ve approached the engine, with this one.” We’ll get to that in just a sec.
Nissan is of course part of the Renault/Nissan/Mitsubishi alliance, and to poor old Mitsubishi, I would say: Please accept my deepest sympathy, dudes. Nobody deserves that. I hope it works out as well as can be expected, in the circumstances. I know treatment options are limited at this point.
We’ll get to that, too.
To the thousands of masochists who have enjoyed the Pathfinder’s Jatco CVT going poopy its trousers, dependably, all these years, you might be disappointed to learn the new model features a new nine-speed conventional epicyclic auto and a 6000lb tow capacity in the United States. That’s about 2.7 tonnes in today’s metric currency.
Admittedly, it will be challenging for Nissan to make the new nine-speed quite as entertaining as the Jatco CVT it replaces, in line with market expectations, but I’m sure they’ll manage. They’ve got a real track record in this domain, after all.
One significant ‘surprise and delight’ aspect of the new Pathy is that it - and you - will enjoy the same, tired, old boat anchor of a 3.5 atmo petrol V6 that can be carbon dated back to the Jurassic - in automotive years - meaning about 2013.
It’s been eight long years, and you alliance dudes haven’t even been able to develop a modern turbo four that would take a big, steaming dump all over anny atmo V6 in terms of low- and mid-rpm performance, as well as emissions and fuel economy. Well done there.
Nissan engineers could have just bought a 2.5 turbo four from Mazda and/or the equivalent engines from Subaru and Hyundai-Kia. Just torn them down and copied that (with sufficient hair and makeup revision so as to avoid the hot water of patent infringement). It’s not like they would have to do actual innovation. Nobody expects that any more.
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More of the same
In my mind’s eye, I’m seeing Richard Nixon saying that.
And, as someone who thinks about his own 35-year-old rugged roots rather a lot, through the rosy rear-view mirror of nostalgia, I totally endorse Jared Haslam’s comments here. He’s the VP of Product and Services Planning, for Nissan North America.
Mr Haslan said all this with a straight face, apparently, and I doubt I could do that. Which is why I’d never make it in the corporate world. I just don’t have what it takes.
New Pathfinder rolls out in the North American summer of 2021 - which is our winter. Doubtless we’ll get new Pathy soon - but no point counting the remaining sleeps just yet.
The Australian Pathfinder - when it lobs - will be made in America. Again. So that’s awesome. And it features a revolutionary seven-position terrain mode selector - seven positions - the Kama Sutra of terrain mode selectors. Just right for the many and varied operating terrains Pathfinder owners typically negotiate:
Bitumen, dirt, sand, mud, snow, ‘up on blocks in the workshop for months’, and ‘trudging up the consumer law court steps’. Nissan’s engineers really have thought of everything with this one. (Three modes only for the 2WD models, obviously…) And there’s no diesel, because: America.
This vehicle is another shining example of Nissan doing the least it could do to keep up with market expectations. A beacon, I’d suggest, and one to watch from the sidelines while you go out and purchase, perhaps, a Santa Fe, Palisade, Sorento, Carnival, Outback, CX-8, CX-9, Kluger or Outlander. If you know what’s good for you.
Sobering Reading
At least we won’t see a re-badged Pathfinder in Renault showrooms across Australia - with some hastily made-up name sounding like a terrible digestive disease. (Keeping up with the Koleoses. Mr Smith, the results are in. You have Stage Four Koleos. It’s time to get your affairs in order.)
Mainly this is because Renault is currently doing the whole Cirque du Soleil thing, here in Australia, and disappearing up its own anus - which is quite a neat trick, albeit after a decade or so of chronic non-performance.
Renault Australia will soon inflict the responsibility for vestigial sales upon a private distributor called Ateco, and then sail off back to the land of wine and cheese - and this will probably not end well for customers, current or future. Renault Shitsville is already down to two SUVs, one car and the three vans. I’m pretty sure only one hand will be required to count all available models in the very near future.
James Voortman is the CEO of the AADA. He’s the head lobby-type spin doctor for car dealers Down Under. He’s already issued an indignant press release on this pending distribution disaster. It’s that serious.
Voortman there (with his thick, ‘lumberjack’ beard). Having a dignified spray. Dealers certainly do hate being treated in the manner in which they treat their customers. And yes - this does seem to be a massive double standard. In mitigation, your worship, I can only say they’re just not used to wearing this particular boot on that particular foot.
There will be a lot of under-bus throwdown action coming up for Renault dealers in Australia. And the government is looking away from the ugliness, too, as I understand it - because the free market always makes all the right calls, clearly.
I’d be steering clear of Renault for the time being if I were you. It’s a bit like French SsangYong.
Death’s Door?
One chilling thought I had, and this is pure speculation was: What if the Alliance curses Pajero to the pit of hell for eternity by slapping a set of Pajero badges on the new Pathfinder? This could easily happen. What an ignominious end for the proud Pajero, the current iteration of which is already long past its use-by date.
Like, it’s well sorted and reliable, but Pajero feels like a brand new, 10-year-old 4X4.
There’s been deafening silence from Mitsubishi on long overdue Pajero replacement - many have already written the obituary - so you could see how this re-badging thing might represent a target of opportunity in the alliance boardroom. The options are: ‘Death’ or ‘rebadged Pathfinder’.
If it’s all the same to you, though: I’ll take ‘death’.
R&D, of course, costs millions. But a kid with a crayon could contrive a new badge. Kia just did that. In the domain of precedents, Renault Trafic is Mitsubishi Express, today. (That’s a re-badge that actually worked out OK.)
Chillingly, though, Nissan Navara could also become a future Triton. Another potential fate worse than death.
I do feel some sympathy for Mitsubishi in all of this, and I can only imagine how being strapped into this appalling three-way alliance might feel for them, long term. The euphemism ‘collateral damage’ springs to mind.
But if you’re in the market for a large-ish SUV, I’d be steering clear of the new American ‘Pathy’ with its Dickensian V6 and un-tried new nine-speed spontaneous disassembly mechanism. There are plenty of other, less risky options. Far more entertaining, I think, to watch this one from the security of the sidelines.
Mazda’s CX-70 is a large five-seat SUV with generous legroom, loads of equipment and a supremely comfortable ride. It’s one of four new additions to the brand’s prestige model onslaught, but for a fraction the price of a premium German SUV.