Land Rover launches limited-edition 'pro-Russia' watch
Brand new limited edition Land Rover Defender watch is kinda from Russia with love, apparently, and in a sense is therefore the anatomy of a ridiculous hilarious scientifically-illiterate marketing own-goal…
If you thought the Land Rover brand couldn’t possibly get any more up-itself, they just made a watch that not only tells the time, but advertises its limited-editionness as a feature.
But there’s one hilarious aspect to this exclusive, high-end watch that will stare its centenary of owners in the face, reminding them eternally of the year that was 2022.
It all started with a press release which was apparently not passed across the desk of a single qualified engineer within the Jaguar Land Rover operation.
It was titled:
Bamford London and Land Rover have harnessed their shared commitment to design and precision to create the limited-edition LR001 watch.
Just like a James Bond watch, only not nearly as mechanically sound if it has anything to do with Land Rover.
Didn’t know it was possible to harness one’s shared commitment, unless of course, you’re referring to certain activities behind closed doors, often involving leather, handcuffs and safe words
Land Rover’s PR went on:
Like the incomparable SUV that inspired it, the LR001 is a creative endeavour for adventurous hearts. Designed by the team at Land Rover and built by Bamford London, just 100 examples are available worldwide.
Unlike Land Rovers which are inflicted upon thousands of Australians every year - actually, they’re not selling that many, owing to the Auto Expert air raid sirens going off for so many years. Inflicted upon thousands of cashed-up suckers every year in Australia.
If these unfortunately co-developed Land Rover watches suffer some kind of malfunction, does the owner have to return to the JLR service department? Or has Bamford London made the smart business decision to take on that commercial liability themselves? More would be accomplished.
Just ask The Fast Lane, AKA TFL Studios, the YouTube channel. (You could also ask Sally Morphy about her Ranger Rover >>)
They had a fairly distinctive experience with the new Defender when, on their third vehicle after the first two just died, they went for the base model to do off-road adventuring, they took it to the dealer to fit a factory winch, and some genius technician managed to cut the wiring harness. It rendered the entire vehicle a write-off.
Do you trust Land Rover enough that one faulty part won’t render your watch disposable? Are you sure you want to wear such a watch? I mean, here’s what the Land Rover Defender says about you >>
Reflecting the Defender design language, the LR001 combines restrained surfaces with inherent capability. Built to last with a 40mm titanium case and a premium Sellita SW200-1b automatic movement, with a refined ruthenium anthracite finish it embodies sustainability through longevity.
First point of order: design is not a language. I think they mean styling.
Secondly, and most importantly, ruthenium in a metallurgical sense is a good idea. But in a marketing sense, it’s quite a bad one.
Ruthenium is an inert metal (resistant to corrosion), similar to Platinum, which you probably haven't heard of. It's not very common, and they only mine about 35 tonnes of it a year, often the same ore deposits as platinum.
You might think, ‘What's wrong with that?’ Well, ruthenium was discovered way back in 1844. That was before the internet, FYI. The problem is why it was named.
Watch the full report above to find out exactly why ruthenium is not a PR-positive metal to associate one’s brand with - especially if it’s (notionally) British.
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If you’re in the market for a hardcore 4X4 wagon that can tow, climb and haul, the Isuzu MU-X is not a bad idea. But here’s why you should take a good hard think before dropping up to $65K on this three-row four-wheel drive…