2023 Volkswagen Amarok: clone car of the year?
Volkswagen recently flew all the usual domesticated so-called motoring journalist car reviewers all the way to South Africa to reiterate Amarok PR talking points. Must be time for an evil bastard to speak truth orbiting the fake Ford Ranger clone…
If you're thinking about buying the new Volkswagen Amarok, you've got as much as $80,000-90,000 (most probably) on the line for the top spec Aventura.
In this report, I’m going to say what nobody else in the captive automotive press will. If you’re a glued-on Volkswagen nut, hold onto your ego - it’s about to take a hammering.
We should start by talking about the gravy train phenomenon happening in regard to this new South African built German-brand ute.
If you're not used to the way this mainstream motoring media stuff works, you probably just sit there and consume reviews from the various outlets on their YouTube channels - you just click on play and allow an Amarok ‘first drive’ launch review video wash over you.
And through no fault of your own, you probably don't really think too hard about the commercial dynamics happening underneath the video in terms of how it’s made, the incentives involved and the tone and contents of what's being said.
Having been on plenty of these gigs over the years, I can tell you with authority that you get invited, firstly. You go to the airport’s business lounge to fly business class and stay in a five-star hotel or resort, you eat all the best food, drink plenty of the best wine, you have this whole money-can’t-buy rockstar experience. Somethimes there's even helicopters involved.
This is a Faustian bargain that you enter into. What you give up is your integrity, your independence and your freedom of speech, essentially.
Part of the typically unspoken arrangement is you will say mostly nice things about the vehicle if you: A) want to remain employed, and B) want to be invited back.
You want to be employed, but if you’re overly critical - no matter how well deserved this criticism may be - then the hosting company will have a little meeting with your boss and say, words to the effect of, ‘Get this clown in line, otherwise we're pulling our multi-million dollar advertising contract.’
If that happens, it's just cheaper to dispose of you and your five-figure salary. Having been on the receiving end of those kinds of meeting discussions three or four times, it's not pleasant.
The rest of these motoring media outlets work in a box; the box has rules, and one of the rules is: play the game. What really shits me about this arrangement is that you're watching all of these Volkswagen Amarok reviews, but the nature of this junket is not disclosed.
This certainly does affect what is said to you about the product, because there's no point in having the media without you in the audience sitting there consuming their 99 per cent positive content. The construction, impartiality and objective usefulness of that content (to you) is at risk. Just look at Wheels Car of the Year 2022 >> and WCotY 2021 >> for the pinnacle example of this.
You really need to think carefully about their point of view, what is said, and also what is not said in these reviews. This is exactly why new car road test review videos suck >>
PRO TIP: When you don’t hear criticism or negativity (because no vehicle is perfect), this should be an immediate red flag to you.
Cape Town, South Africa isn’t exactly an unattractive place to visit; what’s ugly is the media not disclosing who paid the bill.
Here’s a quote Drive.com.au, which is a division of former Liberal treasurer Peter Costello's Nine Network after they bought and the now dead CarAdvice:
However, unlike what you see in the relationship between the Mazda BT-50 and the Isuzu D-Max for example, where those competitive utes share the same mechanical components, tuning, calibration and general interior layout, Volkswagen has gone to considerable lengths to make this Amarok not feel like a Ranger.
- Drive.com.au
I'd like to know how they've done that exactly, because they share the same mechanical components, they share the same essential tuning and calibration, they run on the same freaking platform. So exactly what is different again, that's not cosmetic?
This is a talking point that is reiterated by all of these reports because Volkswagen is extremely keen for you to think that this vehicle is so different to the Ford Ranger, despite being so fricken similar. Drive goes on:
20 engineers were shipped from Germany to Australia for over three years. Volkswagen's own teams of designers and engineers were involved in the development of the new platform from day dot.
- Drive.com.au
What did they actually do, I wonder.
So while the powertrain components are the same, they receive different Volkswagen tuning for the Amarok.
- Drive.com.au
Do they really? The peak power outputs of the 2.0-litre twin-turbo engine and also the 3.0-litre V6 turbo engine are identical. So what is this different tune exactly that pertains to the powertrain?
Are you starting to see the pattern here? You, the consumer, are being given the Volkswagen public relations fluff that was mentioned at the preliminary briefing to journalists having stepped off the plane, gotten settled into their rooms, before meeting in the conference room ahead of pre-dinner drinks and canapés.
Keep an eye out for Paul Maric’s excellent (and brave) work highlighting the shitbox Amarok’s flimsy factory side steps begging to snap off under the weight of the first beard-stroking Ding Piss Creekian crazy enough to use it. Image: CarExpert.com.au/YouTube.
Watch the entire video report above for the full Amarok reaming and the balanced perspective the mainstream motoring media either aren’t allowed to talk about, or simply have no idea about…
If you’re seriously considering shopping for a Volkswagen Amarok ute in the near future, you might want to also research a bunch of utes from various brands. Starting with:
Mitsubishi Triton ute review & buyer's guide >>
It might not hurt to also have a geez at the very clever and grunty Hyundai Staria Load van review: (Buy this or a Toyota Hiace?) >>
I’ve also got a bunch of ute comparison/analysis reports such as:
2023 Ford Ranger: Have they fixed the 10-speed transmission? >>
The truth about 4WD ute payloads (which most people don't know) >>
And some sage advice like:
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